I wish I could say today was easier than it was, but it wasn’t. Today was a challenge for the whole family. It was very difficult going back to the hospital where Trey was born, the hospital where he was treated on and off for 7 years, the hospital where he spent over 200 days in 2012-2013, and the hospital where he stepped into eternity with Jesus! Medical City Hospital carries many memories, both good and bad, for our family.
It was particularly difficult seeing my oldest daughter grieve so hard today, my two sons shed tears remembering the times they spent with Trey in the hospital, and my youngest daughter grieve in her own way as she continues to try and make sense of it all…and to see my wife struggle so deeply as she remembered the countless hours she spent with Trey there and the precious memories she carries in her heart. I found myself asking, “How can I shoulder all this. It’s just too much. How can I heal, and minister, and preach, and lead, and on and on? God, I just can’t do it.”
And do you know what…it is in those moments where God shows up strong. He thrives showing Himself strong on behalf of the weak. He loves hearing his kids say that they cannot handle stuff because he knows that is when we begin really depending on Him. Well, that is what I was reminded of once again today…I don’t have to shoulder all this, I can’t shoulder all this, God does not expect me to shoulder all this. God simply asks me to trust Him and yield control to Him. He wants me to give it ALL to Him.
I was also quick to realize that God has been the one shouldering everything all along anyway. You probably are familiar with the famous poem “Footprints in the Sand”…well today, I realized that has been more than a poem for me, it’s been a reality. As the poem says, “In the hard times in my life, there was only one set of footprints.” But why? Why would God leave me during those times? He didn’t! As the poem says, “It was in those times that He carried me.” God has been carrying me and my family all along, even when we didn’t and still don’t realize it. His grace has been sufficient and His power has been perfected in our weakness. I am so grateful to God for the grace, patience, and strength He has provided to us.
Any way, today was tough…but, we made it through…just as we have been doing the last 9 months, one breath and one step at a time. I’m so grateful for my family. They are doing so well. They are each trusting in the Lord in their own way and I am so proud of each of them. We pulled together today…we asked the Lord for help…we received tremendous prayer support…and we are still standing. God has been so good to us and continues to take our shattered hearts and put them back together…something only He can do.
Oh how we miss Trey…all of us…but we rejoice that because of Christ, we will see him again. As I was driving this morning, I had this thought: “Death would be unbearably bitter if it weren’t for the sweet taste of heaven that comes only through the glorious hope Jesus Christ provides!” I can’t imagine having no hope. Jesus is our anchor and our hope today and every day. As the old hymn says, “Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.” We are living the reality of that truth every single day.
Thank you for standing with us in prayer today. We love our extended family in the Body of Christ. So many of you have been such a blessing to us. We love you! Tonight, as I lay my head on my pillow, and remember the day Trey stepped into eternity, I am reminded of a few words from a new Stephen Curtis Chapman song called “See you in a little while” that means so much to me:
“I hold your hand and watch as the sun slowly fades; far in the distance the Father is calling your name and it’s time for you to go home
And everything in me wants to hold on
But I’m letting you go with this goodbye kiss and this promise
I’ll see you in a little while
I’ll see you in a little while
It won’t be too long now
We’ll see it on the other side
The wait was only the blink of an eye
So I’m not gonna say goodbye
‘Cause I’ll see you in a little while”
Thank you Jesus for the glorious hope of heaven…thank you for carrying Trey all the way home, and one day us too. Thank you that we will see him in a little while. We rejoice in You and worship Your holy name.
pastorjfreeman 