When I think back to when all this began with Trey in September 2012, I honestly had no idea what I…what we…would be facing. Anyone who knows me, knows I have always worried about Trey. I often wondered if he would need another transplant in his life just because he always seemed to struggle. So…in September 2012, when he began getting sick and we could not figure out what was wrong, we began a journey we never really fully saw coming.
Little did we know though what kind of help he was going to be needing. We hoped he would be able to rally or fight this off on his own until we discovered that what he was facing would require the most intense and extensive of treatments. So…as we journeyed into December and watched him endure chemo and another transplant, we thought that surely those things would work and help put him on a course of health and healing. Well, once again, things did not work as we had hoped and Trey began to have more set backs as early as February of this year. The set backs were major and caused us once again to embark on a journey we did not foresee.
So…since February, we have been fighting one of the most aggressive kinds of diseases you can fight, and we are throwing everything at it. As I have said before, we are in uncharted waters. What Trey has is extremely rare and there isn’t a proven protocol of treatment that we know will work. So…as we learn more about what he has, we are hoping to offer him things that will help him fight and win this battle that he is bravely enduring. BUT…we are running out of options, and once again, we find ourselves in a position and on a journey we did not foresee. We truly are desperate for the Lord’s intervention and are asking Him daily for help.
However, as I write this, I am mindful of so many others suffering right along side us. I think about my brother in law and sister in law who are learning how to move on with their life after losing their newborn son; I think about my mother in law who is battling an incredibly difficult battle with her stage four cancer; I think about friends of ours whose 12 year old son is in the fight of his life with cancer; I think about a young pastor friend of mine whose wife was just diagnosed with cancer and will be undergoing extensive chemotherapy for months…and on and on! It’s just overwhelming to think about what we and so many others are facing. I have days where I don’t feel like I can open my eyes and then days where I feel like I’m walking on water…it is a very up and down journey…a journey I didn’t ask for or foresee.
BUT…this one thing I know, for those of us in Christ…THERE IS HOPE!!! There is a real, eternal hope because our God has come and conquered sin, sickness, death, disease…ALL THINGS!!! He has overcome and through Him we will overcome too. He has journeyed father than anyone of us; He’s aware of our journey; He’s charting the course…He is Lord of the journey!
My dad preached at a church this weekend and a lady walked up to him after and said, “The reason your grandson is not being healed is because there is a sin in either your son or daughter-in-law’s life.” That of course upset my father and I, of course, do not know this lady, but here is what I would tell her if I knew her…I have plenty of sin in my life, but through the Cross of Jesus Christ, I have been declared forgiven and clean and free. Because of the redemptive work of Jesus, He doesn’t hold my sin over me or my family. Now, my wife and I are FAR from perfect (she’s pretty close though :-)) and at times I feel like the chief of sinners, but I know that I have bowed my knee to Jesus and every sin has been made white through the shed blood of Jesus…and through Him we are not condemned, but rather free!!!
I would also tell this lady what Jesus told his disciples in John 9,
“And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him (John 9:2-3).”
Emily and I believe that for whatever reason, God has allowed our son to have what he has so that the works of God might be displayed through his little life. We are praying that God gets immense glory from Trey’s life…whatever that looks like in the end.
I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and there is no way I could ever say thank you to God enough for the grace He has shown me…but one of the greatest things Emily and I have ever done was to have Trey. God gave Trey to us and He gave him to us for a reason…and God is in charge of every single breath he has and every single day he will live. We KNOW that God is holding Trey and He will do what is best for him. Oh, we pray God sees fit to heal him on this earth, but we must rest in whatever it is that He has decided. We rest in His finished work.
As I have said before, Trey is a gift, and we are on a journey we never saw coming…but our God is the Lord of this journey and we are just daily trying the best we can to trust Him. Today was a hard day, but I am confident that my God is Lord of the hard and easy days. I am confident that He is Lord when I have faith and when I doubt. I am confident that He is Lord…period!!! And I am just thankful daily that He does not give me what I deserve, because if He did, I would surely perish!!! But our God is a God of grace and mercy and through the Cross He has shown He is big enough to cover it all…all He asks is that we love and trust Him…and by the grace of God, that is what we are trying to do everyday.
So, where is the journey heading? I wish I knew. How will this journey end? I wish I knew. Who is in charge though? The Lord Jesus Christ…that I do know without any question. He is Lord over all…in all…and through all…and to Him be all the glory.